"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: What Do I Wear At An Old Apostolic Lutheran Wedding?

Saturday, August 29, 2009

What Do I Wear At An Old Apostolic Lutheran Wedding?

Maybe some of you can help savethewhales, who posted the following question on Yahoo Answers, but doesn't seem to be getting much helpful advice over there:

What do i wear to an old apostolic lutheran wedding?
im going to a wedding in a couple days. the wedding is at an old apostolic lutheran church. i know i have to wear a scarf on my head during the marriage. but can you please tell me want an acceptable outfit is? and should i carry a purse? i am 15 years old.
20 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
oh, and no jewelry, no nail polish, no make-up. and i have to wear my hair up, and wear a skirt.


What Do I Wear At An Old Apostolic Lutheran Wedding?

Please post your answer both there and here. :-)

21 comments:

  1. LLLreader answers: As an ex-member I have a standard outfit I wear to the OALC weddings and funerals. I don't wear a scarf. I wear a dress, or blouse and skirt, that is a little bit conservative. I don't wear much makeup (I don't usually anyway), I usually don't wear much jewelry. Purses are fine. I just wear my hair as I usually do. Since you are not a member, nothing special is expected of you. I would just dress nicely--it will be OK. I don't think I would go with a tube top and cutoffs though!!! Let us know how the wedding goes. Tomte, I can't seem to get this posted over to Yahoo Answers.

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  2. Thanks LLReader. You need a Yahoo account to post over there. I have one, so I posted it for you.

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  3. There is NO requirement of non member women to wear scarves for the service. I wear as much makeup and jewelry that I wear to my own church services and I dress the same as well.

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  4. As a member of the OALC, I agree with previous posters. Nothing is "required". Most non-OALCers wear what they normally do. Some come in slacks as they don't normally wear dresses. I wish you well, and hope you can feel free. Take care.

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  5. I thought it was interesting a discussion I had with a friend of mine who is starting to attend the OALC again.

    She said she just noticed she felt less and less like wearing her makeup and jewelry, so she concluded that it must be God working in her.

    Yet in further conversation she let it be known that when she did wear makeup, she was made fun of and heard comments about "who gave you a black eye from somewhere?" or "did all your fingers at once get slammed in the car door to get such colors?" and "how many men do you marry to wear so many rings?" and when she didnt wear any makeup or jewelry she was told how truly beautiful she was and obedient and pleasing to God.

    So really it came down to positive and negative reinforcement working in her... coming from man, carefully worded to get her to not want those things that caused people to say things that hurt her or made her uncomfortable, or to say things that made her feel good. Now add in that she should "give up" her "worldly" friends for no one to tell her she looks beautiful on a day she wears makeup or jewelry, and viola! you have her "changed" heart with "God working in it"

    Truly the heart's motivation is the key to any of it. We shouldnt believe we must be painted to be beautiful, but there is nothing wrong either with celebrating what God did give us. To be judged by what is on the outside, what we wear in clothing, jewelry or makeup is "not even scratching the surface" for anyone can present whatever they want, but only God knows what is in our heart.

    A church of God's people should not consider the outside, and anyone visiting a church shouldnt have to either. The focus is entirely wrong. Christ came to save the poor and sick, not the perfectly put together outfit to blend in without being stared at or made fun of.

    A wedding is celebrating the happy joining of two souls and that is enough to focus on :)

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  6. Those types of comments are just demeaning and rude, meant to tear down a person... It's nobody's business but her own. Well said, hp3.

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  7. LLReader, thanks again. Your answer got chosen as the "best answer."

    :-)

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  8. I looked up what advice is given in the Bible on this. The part from Peter is quoted in the OALC marriage ceremony. That does not mean every person that walks through the door has to be dressed this way or they get the boot. They way we dress, in particular the women, is what we believe Scripture teaches us.

    1 Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

    1 Peter 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

    What do think?

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  9. LLLreader comments: 1 Peter 3:3-5 "And let not your adornment be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, and putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves". I believe what Peter is telling the Christians in this letter is that even though a women might adorn herself on the outside, the emphasis must be on the internal adornment. The word MERELY tells me he is saying, "Don't stop there, fix up your heart as well as your hair". He doesn't say don't adorn yourself, but rather remember where the importance is--it's your heart. Chapter 3 goes on to advice husbands and wives how to treat each other. In Verse 8 he says, "To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit". He is telling us what those verses are about. He sums up verses 1-7 as meaning we need to be good to each other. Since Peter sums up what those verses mean, I don't see why I would believe any other interpretation.

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  10. LLLreader meant to add: This was the way I read it anyway. Does anyone else see it differently? I would be interested in hearing what others think. I have the King James version.

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  11. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands... 1 Peter 3:1-5 KJV

    I can see where a reader of the KJV might read verse 3 and come to the conclusion that it's wrong for a woman to "dress up." However, we must take this in context: the purpose of Peter's writing is not to chastise women for focusing on outward appearance but, as the opening of the passage states, to demonstrate to women the power they have to win men's hearts to Christ: if any [men] obey not the word, they also may [outside of] the word be won by the [conduct] of the wives. Peter is basically saying that true, incorruptible beauty is found in the heart of a believing woman.

    In light of that, it might be a stretch to use this passage to rebuke such things as braided hair, earrings, or makeup.

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  12. Let me add: the believing woman's calling is to draw her husband to Christ by her "chaste conversation coupled with fear." It's what's in her heart that counts. Outward beauty doesn't count for much in the war of faith.

    The other thing to remember is that this passage is written specifically to wives, not to women in general. At this time in the churches Peter was writing to there were a lot of new believers in unequal marriages: many wives had become Christians before their husbands had and vice-versa.

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  13. LLLreader to il Coro: Good points il Coro. You gave more depth to what I was seeing. That is the beauty of reading studying, and sharing the Bible. Our views can be expanded.

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  14. Good interpretations in my opinion, LLLreader and il Coro! I know the OALC likes to use the passage from Timothy in particular to make their "hair rules" for women. What I never could understand was the fact the passage says in part "not with broided hair". Broided is commonly accepted as synonymous with braided, and I sure used to see a lot of women with braids in their hair...hmmmm.... and how do we get from that the restriction they should not cut their hair?

    I've also never understood the current thinking (for the last 50 years or so) that men should not wear beards or mustaches anymore (...however our grandfathers had them, and that includes the old preachers!). I'm not aware of any biblical guidance on that one, and I was of the opinion that most of those old timers from the Bible had beards. (At least, they do in the pictures! :-))

    Once again, what do these silly rules have to do with salvation? It must be that every time there is a slow day and there really isn't any revelation coming to the preacher, he must just think up a new rule to fill the hour and a half -- or two that he's expected to preach. Maybe he hasn't inspired enough people to tears so he thinks up something else they didn't know they were doing wrong.

    OK, I'm in a sarcastic mood today so I'll stop.

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  15. LLLreader expounds on hair: One explanation I was told about not cutting hair was that Mary, the sister of Lazarus, put oil on the feet of Jesus and wiped it off with her hair. The lord was very pleased, and the interpretation was that having hair long enough to wipe someone's feet was a good thing. My interpretation was that the act of such humility before the Lord was what was pleasing to him, not the hair itself. Anyone else have an idea on this?

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  16. Cvow, it's not just pictures, there is also written evidence that the early Christians wore beards and were very much opposed to shaving.

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  17. Anybody see the irony here? When we set rules governing the outward appearance, we are guilty of the exact error that Peter warns us against! By setting rules that women cannot cut or braid their hair or cannot wear jewelry or restricting the clothes they wear, we once again become focused on the outward appearance instead of on the heart.

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  18. Spot on, il Coro. Unfortunately outward appearance is the only thing that matters to some people. It reminds me of an old joke. The Catholics, now that the church has evolved, are so grateful to Lutherans for having shown the way forward that they are going to return the favor by teaching the Lutherans to drink -- in front of each other. :-)

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  19. I agree completely il coro, it's whats in our hearts that matters, not our outward appearance whatever that may be! Like the old saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover. That is why I have a really hard time understanding how the LLC can "judge" who is going to be saved and who isn't....they can't see what is on the inside of everyone!!

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  20. I have a young friend who married into OALC she has 4 children, the last child birth nearly killed her. Her husbands family rule their lives and her husband will not stand up for her. Another birth may very well kill her. She has no job, no money and no family of her own. She is scared of losing her children if she were to leave the OALC and divorce her husband. Is there anyone out there who knows of lawyers who have helped women leave with their children? She is severly depressed, but OALC frowns upon any medication. I fear for her sanity and live.

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  21. She should see an ob/gyn and get a depo shot every three months or the permanent essure birth control procedure that takes 15 minutes and a follow up test....it's all PRIVATE!!!

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