Published by permission from the poet, Karen Tolkkinen, a former member of the Laestadian Lutheran Church, who lives and writes in Minnesota.
Photo: Grace in Winter 2, by Jeff, Creative Commons 2.0
En Pointe
Karen Tolkkinen
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
What do I want?
What do I want?
What do I want?
Once upon a time, I wanted to dance
en pointe, en chaine, entendu.
But they said dancing was sin.
And I hated myself for wanting it.
Once upon a time, I wanted to act in
plays and movies.
But they said no, acting is sin.
Plays are sin. Movies are sin.
And I found myself most wretched for wanting it.
I might have enjoyed watching a Twins game
But that was sin.
I might have enjoyed your company
But I wasn't allowed friends outside church.
I might have enjoyed debate, or speech, or National Honor Society
But they would draw me away from church friends.
So when I moped around the house
Bored
My mom would grow impatient.
Read a book, she'd say.
So I would.
Books about ballet.
And actors.
And normal kids befriending other normal kids.
And no-one to tell them they were wrong.
