"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: Knot, Seen

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Knot, Seen

Wood Knot
Originally uploaded by Free2beme.
My husband took this photo of an interesting pattern in the deck of our Mendocino rental. He has an eye for detail and an appreciation for beauty in common things. I was extraordinarily jealous of that ability until I discovered it was contagious.

We can't see what we don't look at.
We don't know what we don't know.

Even now, years after un-put-up-withable cognitive dissonance compelled me to leave the OALC, I'm aware that my usual, my default mode of response is, as Tomte described it, binary. I am one big evaluating machine, judging thoughts, experiences, words, people, things, places, etc. as to their significance, utility, rightness or wrongness, up/down, place in the bigger scheme of things, etc, etc.

Isn't this what we all do? Well, yes and no.

There is bigger way, a deeper, more profound, more holistic way of experiencing life . . . and God.

Perhaps it is not only contagious (so it helps to hang out with folks who practice it) but a muscle you can exercise.

Like prayer.

When you are done reading this, close your eyes. Imagine that death will arrive in three minutes, and everything you ever needed to know, you know now. Nothing is left to be said or done. Put your arms around your body (it has carried you so far!), then open them wide. Just be.

Feel that perfect love.


  1. Beautiful pictures...

    I do wish that new postings would be placed under the current topic. Otherwise they are difficult to find!

    As a child, my best friend was an OALCer and we were inseperable for years. When she got married, the ties were suddenly cut. I always got the feeling that someone was telling her that I was not desirable company.

    The funny thing is, she was always much wilder than I ever was.

    Even though we talked about her church, and she was faced with my difficult questions (so, you think I am going to hell?), she maintained that this was absolutely the right church for her.

    In my mind, that church has suffocated her spirit.

    How can any intelligent person (she is very intelligent) believe in this religion?

    Thank you for keeping up this site! It has answered many questions.

  2. It seems like every year some girl from the OALC is either valedictorian or salutatorian at Battle Ground HS. The year I graduated, they BOTH were OALC gals----go figure