"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: Happy Finnish Independence Day

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Happy Finnish Independence Day

MTH wrote: Happy Finnish Independence Day. I wouldn't mind it if we got back to discussions of whiskey merchants and whoremongers!

Ok. Hope this helps.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS OF FINNS:

"Naah, we don't need no electrician here."

"In principal you shouldn't smoke so near the ammunition"

"Lets study the safety instructions later"

"The side effects of lot of alcohol are hugely exaggerated"

"Damn life vest - I'm not wearing it"

"Look! Whats that bear cub doing alone in the forest?"

"Sure quick to drill the ice when it's this thin."

24 comments:

  1. Is a whoremonger a pimp or a john?

    In your experience, did your former LLL churches advocate abstinence before marriage for both men AND women equally or primarily for women? When I sat in the hearing of that precious gospel, I mostly heard that men want sex far, far more than women do. Women were thus constantly warned against wearing anything but flour sacks. Men were warned to flee temptation, especially online porn.

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  2. Many Trails Home12/07/2006 06:41:00 PM

    Can't answer that, Ilmarinen, but someone the other day, looking over my shoulder, asked me why I was "Learning to Live Free . . as a Former Lesbian." Had to straighten him out, pronto. So I wonder: What IS a "former" lesbian? MTH

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  3. A whoremonger is technically a john. The pimp, of course, is complicit in the sin.

    Perhaps we are such refined sinners that such vileness isn't found within us.

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  4. LLLreader sez: Hold on a minute there! A fishmonger sells fish--so it would seem that a whoremonger would sell whores--thus making him a pimp.

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  5. That's funny, MTH. Perhaps a former lesbian is someone who used to live on the island of Lesbos. More seriously, anyone calling herself a former lesbian is probably someone who still feels sexual attraction to women but denies those attractions and lives celibate. Or she could be a bisexual who denies her attraction to women and only admits her attraction to men.

    Considering the size of the Laestadian families and the preoccupation with sexual matters in the sermons, I doubt many of us of Laestadian heritage are immune from the "lusts of the flesh."

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  6. Did you guys see the video of the guy in Finland jumping in front of the tank at the parade? What was that all about?

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  7. Whoremonger is a term that has it both ways. Kind of like Rush Limbaugh, who was caught at the airport (returning from the Dominican Republic) with a bottle of Viagra in his luggage. The prescription was in his doctor's name "for privacy." Yeh. Like privacy as in Bill/Monica privacy.
    A: It's illegal to receive prescriptions under another name. B: It's illegal for your doctor to give you prescription drugs under his name. C: Why is an umarried Christian conservative taking erectile dysfunction drugs to an island known for its sex tourism? Whoremongering, anyone? No doubt Rush is praying the judge is a softy, but due to those previous drug charges, a stiff fine is likely. Hard to believe!

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  8. Funny stuff. I pretty much got the impression as a girl that men could not control their sexual urges so it was up to women to do so for them, by dressing and acting modestly, repelling advances, etc. I don't remember any OALC sex advice to men.

    A girl's need for abstinence was essentially mercantile: "he won't by the cow if he gets the milk for free." You retained your highest value as a virgin, and if your value declined, you might end up with the dregs.

    Perhaps because female desire was NOT discussed, my adolescent experience of it seemed pure, "extra-Laestadian" if you will. Dreamy. While still innocent of any of its applications, I must have signalled a certain sensuality, because at 16 I remember my mother saying "you'll get married early." When I asked why, she said "you won't be able to wait." She seemed amused. (That rang in my ears -- her recognition of my private marvel.)

    She was right mostly. Is it possible that an LLL upbringing gives some spice to the sauce?

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  9. The video dr phil is referring to is found on youtube:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsjOLvYcuTc

    The Finnish media has been surprisingly silent about the incident. The guy was supposed to be a 87-year-old war veteran who had a place of honor with the other veterans and their wives. Suddenly he left his spot and rushed to the road. Some eye witnesses said he laid down in front of the tank and rolled under its tracks.

    My theory is that he was senile and when the tanks were approaching he thought he was in the war again and had to fight the tanks. Or could it have been a suicide?

    ---

    As for being a "former Lesbian", I believe it is possible to get cured from any sickness by the help of God, also from homosexuality. Miracles do happen. However, this doesn't mean that everyone suffering from homosexuality will be cured and that it's necessarily your own fault if you don't get well. There are also many other sicknesses that are difficult to get rid of. I believe the cases in which people falsely claim that they have been cured of a certain sickness (e.g. homosexuality) are due to either their strong desire to get rid of their sickness or external pressure from the other members of the community they are part of. There are spiritual communities that emphasise healing to such an extent that it seems to have become their main focus and there are spiritual communities that teach that if you are a right Christian you will be healthy and wealthy and if you aren't it means there's something wrong with you. Of course this leads to people making false claims.

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  10. What did the Finnish-American wife say to the Finnish-American husband upon divorcing?

    "Can we still be cousins?"

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  11. On whiskey merchants: Luther didn't like commercial brewers, but he loved his homebrew. Check out this page.
    "It is possible to tolerate a little elevation, when a man takes a drink or two too much after working hard and when he is feeling low. This must be called a frolic. But to sit day and night, pouring it in and pouring it out again, is piggish"

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  12. Good link, Ilmarinen! I wonder how that would play with the OALCers!

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  13. What did the Finnish-American wife say to the Finnish-American husband upon divorcing?

    "Can we still be cousins?"

    That's sick! I don't even really find that humorous. Each to his own..or a corrupted mind maybe?

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  14. Are their some apostolics/laestadians that have married their cousins?

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  15. I know some cases of 1st cousin marriages in America and Norway. In Finland the law allows 1st cousins to marry but I don't know about any cases and I think it would probably be a big scandal if 1st cousins actually got married here. Don't know if there are any in Sweden. There are so few of them there that one would almost expect that there are cousin marriages, but on the other hand the oalcers in Sweden usually get married with either Norwegians or Finns, or even Americans, so it maybe isn't that big a problem there after all.

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  16. I've heard Zoop's lousy joke told with other groups (often rednecks) in the punchline.

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  17. in the oalc church i grew up in, mpls and brush prairie there were many cousins that married each other. In fact, 2 of my brothers married thier/our 2nd and 3rd cousin. From my experience it is very common, but I still think its wrong and gross.

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  18. but yes still the butt of many jokes

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  19. I didn't mean to offend you, Zoop. It's just that I've known quite a few 2nd or 3rd cousin marriage among apostolic lutheran groups. The worst case I'd ever seen was a double first cousin marriage which happened actually as a 2nd marriage after the deaths of the first spouses and after child bearing was not an issue. It was considered to be very disgusting among most of the congregation and I'm not quite sure but I think the couple ended up leaving the church in the end.

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  20. You forgot:

    "It'll all work out"

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  21. "It'll all work out"

    That's MY line, is it Finnish? lol

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  22. LLLreader sez: I don't know, but here is a Finn proverb translated by Inkeri Vaananen-Jensen--"Jos el sauna ja viina ja terva auya niin se tauti on kuolrmaksi". "If a sauna, whiskey and tar do not help, the disease is fatal".

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  23. How about,

    "He doesn't need to be shown how to use a ladder, it's common sense."

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  24. LLLreader sez: Back at 'ya--"Do not lend your bicycle or your wife to anyone".

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