"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: Blasphemous Pasties

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Blasphemous Pasties

As regular as clockwork since I posted it in 2008, the user-edited advice at Wikihow's "How To Leave the Old Apostolic Church" is discovered by readers who take great offense. With a few clicks, they make the content disappear, or replace it with their own. But like Wikipedia, changes to Wikihow posts are monitored, and eagle-eyed volunteers quickly restore the page.

The cycle repeats itself, over and over, month after month, year after year. A friend's comment compelled me to review the page today, to see if the advice still seems valuable (it does) and whether any complaints had been registered (yes, plenty). A sampling:
  • Blasphemy. Go back to OALC, it is the one true faith full sheepfold!
  • This article is not something you should be searching for, because you should not want to leave what is the truth. But you should not leave anyway because the OALC is the only living faith church and that is where you will find God.
  • The OALC is a place of truth! Do not be deceived by that small whispered doubt the devil spews into your ears!
  • Expounded blasphemy from satan.
  • This article is false and misguiding. please don't believe any of it.
  • Garbage.
Not to nitpick, but can a whisper be spewed? Blasphemy expounded?

In a creative twist, one culinary-minded critic tried to replace the page with recipes, twice. That is a lot of effort to be lost to the ether, so I'll post his or her recipe for pasties here, even though it verges on the blasphemous (e.g., baby carrots).



2 lbs ground beef (uncooked)

3-4 good size potatoes

½ large onion

4-5 celery stalks

½ rutabaga (optional, but I suggest at least trying it)

½ turnip (optional)

12-15 baby carrots

Salt and pepper to taste


Makes 8-10 pasties
  1. Chop potatoes into small squares. About the size of a French fry, cubed.
  2. Chop rutabaga, carrots, and turnip into smaller squares. Chop onion into small pieces.
  3. Combine everything in a large mixing bowl. (By hand is easiest.)
  4. Roll out pie crust to approx. 9” diameter circles, one for each pasty.
  5. Store-bought pie crust works fine too, and is much easier. Mom’s pie crust is the best I’ve had, but I don’t make it anymore, since a major ingredient is lard. And I’ve found the name-brand refrigerated pie crusts from the grocery store are a good substitute.
  6. For each crust, put in about 1 cup of the mixture of veggies and ground beef, onto one half of the crust.
  7. As you scoop it into a cup, it’s easy to see that you get a good variety of all ingredients.
  8. Fold over the crust. Pinch together the edges.
  9. Place small slits in the top of the crust.

Bake at 375 for one hour.
They are ready to eat! Enjoy. I like ketchup with them (and this is about the ONLY thing I like with ketchup. Brown gravy is good too. But, they are a complete meal in themselves, so the ketchup or gravy isn’t even needed to enjoy your pasty!
They can also be frozen if they won’t be eaten in the next couple days.
For frozen pasties, they can be heated in an oven at 350 for about 40-45 minutes. After about 20 minutes, I cut them in half, to help the middle of the pasties thaw and heat thoroughly.
As a variation, my sister adds a can of Cream of Celery soup to the beef and veggie mixture to help moisten it.


If any of my Wiki critics happen to be reading, here's a suggestion. Rather than altering or deleting someone else's speech, how about adding more of your own? Perhaps a Wiki called How to Stay in the OALC, with practical advice for making it work.



  1. This is an extraordinary well edited blog and it reflects the
    its creator,who must be a well talented person behind the curtains.

    It is my experience, that Laestadians do not freely discuss the
    matter, what is bad in their spiritual home.
    They do not know the Bible, they just dont, not even the preachers.

    They must first fall into crisis in their weekly spiritualism, their christian life. First then they have questions.

    I know only 1 or 2 hard boiled Firstborns, who are able of
    having a honest conversation.

    If your experiences are different, dont let me harm you.

  2. Free, as you know, I'm not a woman, but I'm willing to talk about pasties! When we lived in the Seattle area, the Laestadian Lutheran Church in Monroe used to do a fund raiser once or twice a year and the lunch was pasties! I would buy at least a dozen frozen ones to put in my freezer. Boy, do I miss those pasties!

  3. BaaBaa, thank you for the compliment and the graciousness with which you offer your experiences. That is something I respect a great deal.
    cvow, good to hear from you, and thanks for the tip about the Monroe pasties. Next time you're in the area, come over and I'll make you my urban version, with Irish butter, Ozette potatoes, grassfed beef, and fresh thyme. :-)

  4. I am a little off key but since food was mentioned...when I was growing up my parents liked (spellings?) limpu, lapa, maitoa, herring, hard tack, salmon, nissu and coffee ja sucre etc.... In contrast I preferred cheeseburgers, steaks, French fries, pizza and (beer). Oops, did I say that? Old AP

  5. I think it's rather amusing this back and forth you've described. I found your 'how to' article when I was leaving and didn't know you wrote it! Thank you, it was helpful! I have been "out" almost six months now and besides feeling a little weird and tribe-less at times, I still revel in my freedom from all their "Garbage". You should try adding to the title "and the IALC". People need a little help out of there. :) —LFW

  6. LFW, once someone from the IALC posted this same article on their Facebook page. They seemed to have believed the OALC and the IALC were the same thing, and that the site was a criticism of the IALC. The IALC'er wrote something along these lines: "Help! Someone I don't know posted this on their Facebook wall! I don't know them, or that they used to go to our church, but they must really be confused and in need of a believer to talk to!" Then an IALC'er answered that it wasn't our church they were referring to, but a really old split. --Stranger in a Strange Land

    1. Strange Land: I'm confused. Aren't the OALC and IALC basically the same (except for a few hair-splitting details about what is actually a sin)? Or is that your point?

    2. Yeah, that was sort of the point!

      But tell someone from the IALC or the OALC that...whoa, they'll tell you the groups are NOTHING alike. Nothing. Even though the IALC has greater allowances for lifestyle, I pretty much think they're equally as hard to leave, if you're from a hardcore family.

      --Stranger in a Strange Land

    3. :D Oh yes, I remember well from sermons my whole life, always spoken in sadness that such and such group of people couldn't let this or that go, so they were unfortunately completely in the dark now. Makes my brain hurt. My family was hardcore, and yes, super hard to leave. Sometimes I still can't believe I did it. There should be some sort of certificate of freedom I can hang up...

  7. Have you seen the new oalc website. Seems thier really proud of thier buildings.