"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: Three Women and a Girl, Considered

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Three Women and a Girl, Considered

Photo from Wikicommons.
Here are My View's thoughts about her story of the girl in the church restroom.
This story is like the Bible story of the Good Samaritan, where a person was left beaten, and people passed by. But who was doing the beating here? Is it not the very people who claim that they, and only they, are favored by God? 
Did they hear this girl's cry? Do you? Those in the church, can you still walk away as if you don't hear? As if she doesn't matter? After this girl "gets picked up and dusted off," what is next for her and her family? You know that she will always carry this with her. You know that this isn't the last beating that she will take. Not by a long shot. She and her baby will continue to be beaten by the very people who claim that they love her and tell her that all her sins are "forgiven and forever washed away."
Are they really? How is it then, when it comes time to baptize this little one, they say: "Not in church." 
How is it then, when she wants to marry a man from the church, they say: "Not in church. Church weddings are for obedient ones." 
This is what "forgiven" looks like? 
How is it then, when the baby grows up and goes off to school, he comes home in tears because his cousin called him a "bastard child" and told him he was "conceived by the devil?" 
Is that what "forever washed away" looks like? 
How is it then, that the one who introduced her to sex by molesting her when she was a little child, now walks through the church unbeaten, even admired. His "sins" forgiven, forgotten, never to be spoken of again.

I am not trying to destroy the church. There are people I love in it, and I cannot sit by and watch another be beaten down.  I wrote this story to give a voice to a girl who was silenced, to call attention to the hypocrisy, so that maybe another girl, another child, could be spared. Someone must speak up for them. 
But I know my voice isn't enough. What will it take to stop the beatings? Who will be the Good Samaritan?


  1. I would love to print this out and sent it to all the OALCers I know! Or find a way to post it in the church! Its spot on! They need to learn to think just a little!

  2. Good luck posting it in the church. Correct me if im wrong but i undetstand that in luthers time the church door was basicly a public bulitin board where the community received news. This is where luther originally posted his 95 thesis that started the split. So I find it ironic that the old apostolic "lutheran" church's bulitin boards that i have seen are behind glass with locks.

    My view

  3. It is very difficult to live with or within Laestadianism unless one 'drinks the Kool Aid' and does not question anything with regards to the social and religious inequities. There is often gross hypocrisy in the way the 'church social norms' are enforced by the self appointed Pharisses and the enforcement norms also depend on which congregation one belongs to. Basically it is a 'different strokes for different folks' type of situation from what I remember. Most Laestadians are socially isolated from others outside of the church and their entire social lives are amongst congregation members, so by default 'belonging' and fitting is of upmost importance. I remember that if a young woman was getting married she could only wear a white dress if she was still a virgin. If one did not wear white then everyone would whisper how she had been 'doing it' with her fiance or with some previous boyfriend. However, the groom did not face the same stigma as his sins 'had been washed away, never to be remembered.' Some couples were in a sudden rush to get married in the church. Whenever this happened people automatically suspected that they were trying to get hitched quickly so that no one would be able to guess if she had been pregnant prior to the marriage. The couple would then claim that the baby (born 8 months later) was a 'honeymoon child'.....ya right. Sometimes it was easiest for the gal to pull a 'geographical'.....in other words flat out move to another area where there is a church as long as they had friends to live with at the new locale. They still faced social stigma but at least they did not have to have friends and family lurking (smirking) at them whenever they walked into church. Medical textbooks detail how young people's hormones are raging when they are young. So there is nothing 'morally' wrong with the person who makes a mistake. They only succumbed to an innate craving. In this day and age there should be more compassion and understanding for the struggles they are going through. In contrast I remember a lot of greed being expressed by some of those construction guys. Yet does anyone ever remember any of them being rebuked for their money grubbing? Old AP

  4. I know of a FALC girl who left the area and had a child with a man there. I have heard people fault her saying she hasn't moved back because of pride.

  5. When Acts constitute a crime or crimes don't forget we have laws and too many lives are destroyed without justice. The worst abuse is the revictimization confusion and emotional pain that many never recover from! Maybe those first hand witness's or victims need to report with a support group who watches and lets the prosecutors know these victims may be broken and not so credible as a result of the abuse so with support they may have a chance. Educating ourselves and publishing links is the only way to make a change. The same pattern of abuse and power will never end otherwise ! Make a difference ! Start with reading Lundy Bancrofts web site and articles relating to all subjects of abuse with religious or cultural issues! He needs as many as possible to help him get through to those in charge of the courts and our children! Google Lundy Bancroft and build a group to sit in court and assist these isolated broken and discredited victims ! Strength comes in numbers and those who are able can help with very little time or effort if we all stick together in our communities . Find a link for those local connections with privacy and contact info ! Free has made a difference but let's stop crime and save women and children! Our boys grow up and follow what they learn only because they see no way when they are suffering as a child. Those coping methods and behavior are learned and the cycle continues! That is also abuse and let's not ever underestimate phyco logical abuse and the laws that are in place yet so hard to enforce without your help! God abhors these things and is with the broken ones yet they can't fight it alone! Hear the voices of the helpless and stand up and act NOW! In Europe the government has finally started to see the crimes and are moving forward to enforce the Law ! It's a difficult battle in that those who live it can attempt to explain yet alone they are rarely beleived to the extent necessary and worthy of adequate protection from the laws! These crimes do rise to a level of serious and horrific crimes !!! Our Childten are indeed worthy and they need us all to stand up in numbers and follow through. Once the first cases are successful it will get easier! Help NOW in any way you can. Brainstorm ideas and use this forum to begin a larger movement towards Justice!

  6. Wow how this is so true! I like the Kool Aid analogy; never really thought of it that way. Former OALC