"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: It's been a bit slow here lately...

Friday, October 05, 2007

It's been a bit slow here lately...

It's been a bit slow here lately. I thought I'd create this post as a place where people can post their ideas for topics. Post just an idea, or something that is fleshed out. If you have a full article-length piece of content that you wrote yourself, post it here as a comment and I'll repost it as a topic.

Or if you'd rather Email me ideas, my address is e (dot) tomte (at) gmail (dot) com.



  1. Sorry for being just an occasinal observer here lately... a new baby around here has us trying to focus through a sleep deprivation induced fog on many things :p

    I have had more time to slow down again and have been reading my bible and thinking hard again about the beliefs I was raised with in the Brush Prairie OALC, and the differences Im finding in scriptures today. Also the history of human beliefs. Im amazed at how little we know of our origins; still. I could spend my life just learning about history...

    Babtism has been a thought as related to our new little one. When/how/where/why? Babtism vs dedication? Any particular scriptures or thoughts out there? With the others we did the expected OALC babtism; we know thats not the route we want this time, but it feels that something should be done...

  2. I would be interested in knowing what the reaction of the family/friends was when people left their Laestadian faiths. How did you deal with it? What was life like (different/better/worse)shortly after, and what was it like with more time?

  3. For years after I left the OALC I was treated like an invisible person when I came around (I was there but not acknowledged). As more years went by I was acknowledged as a human being but NOT a valuable family member, not ever again...

  4. I could just say ditto to the above anonymous.

    I had to detach for my sanity. A person can only try for so long to be accepted before it takes a toll on one's sanity. You start to feel like a puppy trying to get someone to pet you, and everyone either ignores you or pushes you away. Unlike Charlie Brown, after I hit the ground enough times, I stop trying to kick the football.

    So then, of course, after that, whenever I brought it up, I was told that I was the one who turned my back on them. They never accepted any responsibility. It was my fault. I left. I stopped calling. I changed. I sinned.

    I still hear some of the bitterness I felt for many years in my words here. Most of the time I'm over it. I had to let it go. There's nothing to be helped or changed by dwelling on it.

    But I come from a large family, and it's been fifteen years since some of my family members called me. And no, I haven't called them either. Getting treated like a second class citizen, like someone they just tolerate, is reason enough not to call. For me at least.

    I have a family of choice who loves me. I have to accept that not everyone will be able to get beyond that barrier of our differences. So be it. Sad, but true.

  5. After I left, I had friends and family calling me and telling me how sad they were, I'm going to hell now. I'd still go home to visit, but it was different. I just learned to accept it because its my life and I no longer believed all the doctrines I was taught. It was hard, yes. But it got easier with time. It took many years to figure out who I was and what I believed and now I'm secure in that. I AM a child of God no matter what anyone says. He DOES love me! I belong to a wonderful church now with so many loving, caring people and that has helped me immensely in my spiritual walk. I used to care about what people thought of me, used to want to be accepted by people. Now, what I care about is what God cares about. He cares about me and thats all that matters. He loves me and guides me. Thats whats important.

    I personally think its so important to find a loving caring community of believers when you leave the Laestadian faith. I know many people do not want to go to church and thats ok. But eventually for me, that is what I ultimately needed were other people to help me. I couldn't do it alone. I went too many years being confused and having emotional problems when what I could have done is gone straight to God and other Christians for help. I didn't. Didn't know how, didn't have any interest. But things did not get totally better for me until I found my relationship with Jesus and found a loving church and believers who support me.

  6. When I left I barely saw my friends and relatives anymore...when I did it was awkward and hard because they didn't treat me the same. For the first year after I left the church, I didn't want to see my family. My parents treated me different, they just didn't talk to me the same or anything. My little brothers and sisters treated my different, and I didn't really know how to act around them. But with time, and when I met my now husband, I started going out to my parents house more. I was more comfortable in my "new" self, and I just acted like myself and now my family is really good about it all. They didn't know what to think of my husband when they first met him, he has earrings and tattoos, but they got to know him, and realize that he's a good guy! I still don't like seeing my old friends because they treat me like crap...like they're sad around me all the time and stuff. I don't go around the rest of the family much, just my immediate family. Some of my aunts and uncles are really snotty towards me now, if they see me in town they won't even say hi...I guess you see how people really are when you live life for yourself and they don't approve! I have my husband for support, and his family who accepted me for me right when I met them.
    I still get pretty bitter when I think about how my old friends treat me, like they just cut me out of their lives. But oh well, obviously they weren't true friends, because true friends would be there no matter what.