"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: But Enough About Me . . .

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

But Enough About Me . . .

I wonder how many of you I'm related to. It turns out Theoforos and I are connected through marriage (at last, a relative who will talk to me!). No doubt I'm related to many of you as well. I find myself envying those of you who remain close to your OALC relatives. How do you do it?


  1. It takes time and a great deal of tolerance. I feel for you Free, I've been there and I will pray for you.

  2. The hardest part was definitely just saying it-- "I'm leaving the OALC". That whole conversation was difficult, but relieving at the same time. Since then, we've just been honest. It's clear to them that I've learned the Bible instead of the OALCs version of what the preachers/elders/Laestadius say/said. We still get along although we know our beliefs are different. I do think it is important, though, that when they bring it up, I'm very clear on how my beliefs are now different from the OALCs. I never truly believed they'd turn their backs when I left the OALC, but knew the possibilty was there. What breaks my heart is their worry about my soul's salvation now that I've left. I gently tell them that it's their's I'm worried about. I believe in my heart it will be more difficult for the majority of the OALCers to be saved because of their blind reliance on the words of the preachers rather than doing as the Bible says--putting the words of the preachers/teachers alongside the Bible to make sure they agree. So much of what was preached there was a distorted view to fit the OALC, and when compared to the actual biblical text, just doesn't jive. The Bible tells us to turn away from those teachings, but the OALC says to believe the preachers and elders words as if coming from God... My heart aches for those whose trust is still in men there, and I pray for their eyes to be opened.

  3. There are families who are close in the church, and families who are close outside the church, but I can't say my family (parents and siblings) in the church is what I would call close. Though I have no answers, there probably isn't a whole lot to envy! Closeness comes from family members who truly enjoy and respect each other's company (the OALC does not teach that), not from rebuke and criticism (which is normal in the church). It doesn't matter at all to my parents and many of my siblings that the family isn't close. The ONLY thing that matters is that you go to church. That's it.

  4. Hi relative! I'm still talking to you, isn't that something? ;)

    I can't imagine how it would feel if my relatives turned their backs to me. The cruelest thing you can do! Actually I don't think they ever would do that, but you never know for sure before you test their tolerance...

  5. I have had to grieve the loss of some relationships, but one thing I realized is that I am not grieving the one that I had, but rather that which I thought I had.

    Once I grieved that, and the pain was not so fresh, I have been able to enjoy the privilege of being around them to some degree, because I feel that even if I never say anything, my freedom speaks volumes.

    I also believe that those who are in Christ wear God's shekinah glory, and people recognize something different even if you're not quoting Bible verses. The only time I speak up is when I feel God really placing it on my heart (and, I must admit, sometimes not even then), because I believe that is the only time it will be effective.

    Has beating anyone over the head with any type of beliefs (religious, political, moral) EVER changed anyone's heart or mind?

    There are still relationships that I miss and long to have back, but when I really look I see that they only went skin-deep. The ones I really miss are the few that I had that were true friends, who are paralyzed in the church and forbidden to talk to me.

    That is a tragedy.

  6. I am a bit lucky, I haven't been shunned by everyone, though many do give me glances when they see me in public. I wish they truly understood what love is so they would not have such cold hearts. I pray for them all to be enlightened with God's love. I would love to privately reveal my maiden name to see who is related here. Unfortunately, it seems as though we are not always amongst friends. Free, how can I send you my info without it being seen by all?

  7. Free, I tried to email you, but it was returned...any other way to contact you?

  8. Thanks, Free. I sent another and I think it went through. Talk to you soon.

  9. Hello free:

    Please don't post this comment. I would like to communicate with you without the whole world being able to see our conversation. If you don't want to use your regular email, could you make up a generic email and send me an email at xlaestadius@yahoo.com? Thank you and I appreciate your blog a lot!
    Once again, please don't post this comment.