Juletomte to the Rescue

Hi friends! Thanks to Tomte, who may in fact be Juletomte, I am back to blogging. No sooner did I kvetch about my computer loss than he mailed me a little Dell that happened to be "gathering dust" around his um, workshop. (Apparently reindeer prefer Apples?) My Powerbook is in California somewhere getting data extracted, and when it returns, my warranty will recover its replacement. After which, I pledge to be a good citizen and back up regularly. One very expensive lesson learned.

Nonetheless, I am feeling very grateful these days, to Tomte (who also gifted us with "recent comments" and the Label CLoud and the new search box) and to all you regulars and newcomers, who have made for some exciting catch-up reading. Wow. You are doing such a great job of welcoming new voices and respectfully asking and answering questions. This feels like a true community, doesn't it? Who'd a thunk?

Recently a cousin in the OALC phoned me and asked if I was "free2bme." I confessed. She had heard rumors about this site and they were personal and derogatory, to put it mildly. This saddened me. I hope that she is comforted by the fact that we are not slandering people here. I welcome anyone to post comments. I expect others' experiences to be different than mine (my cousin's family does not, for example, practice shunning). But I will continue to publicly reject a doctrine that I consider false and harmful.

And sometimes just unsavory. I was tempted to hit the delete button when I read OALCer's post with the "breast" Laestadianisms, but decided it is better to leave it all on here. Readers can weigh the tone and content of all the various messages, and draw their own conclusions.

Now, as for searching the archives, doesn't the search box work for this? I will try it and report back.

Bad Week, Bright Spot

When it rains it pours. I spent last week in bed with a fever and chills and bronchitis. Then my Powerbook's hard disk died, with years of un-backed-up files, photos, and art. This event made me return to bed for several hours. I just could not cope.

A large expense is on the horizon in the form of a new computer. (And I so wanted to go to Sweden!) Meanwhile, I don't have internet access -- I'm typing this from Kinko's -- so if you don't hear from me for awhile, that's why.

A bright spot was the chance to hear Marcus Borg this morning, preaching at University Congregational. His topic was the Lord's Prayer. There is so much to share, but at 30 cents a minute, I'll limit myself to this: "Abba" in Aramaic is the intimate word for Father: like "papa." Why did Jesus teach us to ask Abba for his kingdom to come, here on earth? What does that mean? Note that the prayer doesn't ask for eternal life or for the power to believe. Borg thinks this is significant.

Okay, friends, talk away!

Sweet Land

I hope everyone was able to spend Valentine's Day with their loved ones.

I'd like to heartily recommend the movie Sweet Land. Not only did I find it an excellent film and a poignant love story, but I found myself coming out of the theater thinking, "this is how Laestadian community could be, and should be."

Sweet Land is not about Laestadians. The main characters, Inge and Olaf, are immigrant farmers in 1920s rural Minnesota. However, their simple values, ties with the land, and the power of their tight knit church and community were all things that resonated with my Laestadian upbringing.

As unique individuals who remain true to their hearts over and against rigid and provincial community values, Inge and Olaf face many of the same issues that folks thinking about leaving the Laestadian community might face --including shunning and ostracising by the only community they have.

Unlike the bleakness of Laestadianism, however, this film promises hope and reconciliation. Without giving too much away, I'll just say that this movie affirms the notion that listening to one's heart --while bearing a high price-- yields a bountiful harvest in both self and neighbor.


-ttg

Unbearable Loneliness (No More)

The recent post by anonymous gave me a jolt. I often forget how painful it was to feel trapped, with seemingly no exits.

She writes:

I have so many doubts, have been having for so many years. Am living under fear and emptiness, uncertainty and confusion. Want to leave, but feel so constrained by the social issues involved in leaving. Not sure I have the mental stamina to withstand the shunning, and my family's sure grief. :( Dread the unbearable lonliness in losing my community. Yet at the same time, I am plagued by the sickening hypocrisy of bringing my innocent children up in it. Not sure where to turn anymore. I already recognize some of you here; and you would be sure to know me. I live in fear of being found out, at this time I prize my anonymnity, it is allowing me to jump in on these discussions here. Even wonder as I type this if I am commiting the 'unforgivable sin', by blaspheming The Church. Feel as if I may even go to He** for it. How do I know? How does anyone know? I pray every day that He will help me, that He will guide me. I know that He will. His love is unconditional, and forever. That is my only comfort right now.

First, let me say you don't need to worry about being outed on this blog. You can remain anonymous as long as you like. We understand the reasons why.

Most of us here have lived through that "unbearable loneliness" you speak of. It is awful. You won't have to do that, friend, because we're here. And we'll help.

Check out this wiki how. It represents my own views on how to best leave the OALC. Feel free to edit it.

Let Your Light Shine

"When we let our light shine, we unconsciously give permission to others to do the same." Nelson Mandela

I can't make any claims to wisdom. Both an enthusiast and a skeptic by nature, my views define me as an apostate to all extant Christian traditions, save perhaps the Unitarians (which many do not consider Christian). Thankfully I don't expect or require any person's approval, but am free to follow my conscience and work out life in a loving, heritage-accommodating (ELCA Lutheran with lefse overtones) community, where I am challenged to pursue love and justice (compassionate interdependence) and spurn evil (unmitigated self-seeking).

The evil from which we can be saved is not doubt, which is our human birthright, but loss of relationship to one another and to love itself, that underground river so many call God but which no word can contain and no instrument measure.

Last week I watched Martin Luther King, Jr. in rare footage on a DVD called "Man of Peace in a Time of War". Incredibly powerful. Calm yet fierce, he burned with an inner fire, having seen a future not evident to others.

But we can all visit that mountaintop and see the promised land. It is here within us, each of us.